calling 4.cal.00300 Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire

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Synopsis

Cartman wins a national environmental essay contest by plagiarizing Thoreau's Walden. The prize is getting on live TV with Kathy Lee Gifford, who visits South Park. This causes Mr. Garrison to relive a traumatic childhood memory when young Kathy Lee beat him in a talent show. Mr. Hat convinces Mr. Garrison that he must kill her. Meanwhile, Cartman decides to take Weight Gain 4000 so that he can "bulk up" for his big appearance. He becomes so fat that when he is accepting the award from Kathy Lee, the stage collapses at the same moment Mr. Garrison fires at her, hitting Kenny instead. Cartman gets to be on Geraldo, Mr. Hat is committed to a mental hospital, and Chef gives Kathy Lee some sweet lovin'.
Full Recap

Cartman wins a contest for having the best environmental essay, but he can't remember what he wrote about. Wendy suspects that Cartman has cheated and she is going to prove it. Kathie Lee Gifford is coming to South Park to give Cartman a trophy. Cartman prepares for the event by bulking up with Weight Gain 4000. Mr. Garrison is supposed to be directing the children in a play about the history of their town, but Kathie Lee’s pending arrival distracts him. Back when he was in grade school with Kathie Lee he believes she cheated to win the talent show. Mr. Garrison gets a gun and goes to the book depository with plans for revenge. Meanwhile, Cartman has expanded to 150 pounds or more because of the Weight Gain 4000 and everyone has begun calling him "Wide Load." The award proceedings are interrupted when Mr. Garrison tries to kill Kathie Lee Gifford, but kills Kenny instead. Wendy exposes the truth about Cartman's paper; Chef makes sweet love to Kathie Lee and Cartman goes on Geraldo.
Kenny dies when he's catapulted into the air and gets shot by Mr. Garrison (who's trying to kill Kathy Lee Gifford) and lands on the flagpole, thus impaling him.